A Boy, A Tragedy, A New Mother Chapter 8 Bryan and Sarika sprinted through the cave as fast as they could for they both were very eager to play with each other so badly. The Three Dragons Selena, Zenith, and Sarama just watched them with happy faces as well as they laughed watching them getting closer to the exit of the cave and seeing their children so happy. Bryan kept running towards the exit but Sarika easily got ahead of him for having four legs and even being a young dragon she still had quite some strength within her. Once she reached the end of the cave before Bryan, she turned around just giving Bryan a chance to catch up. “Come on Bryan we have s
Alright, I'm going to vary from the general theme here on praises and give you a more critical assessment of your story in general and your writing it's self.
First your story theme is a good one and for all that the beginnings when the human parents die is a sad event and can be powerful, I didn't feel the connection that some of the others felt. I feel that you didn't capitalize on this story feature well enough. This is why I gave you a 4.5 in vision and a 3.5 on impact
I didn't get a good feel for the emotions of the Dragoness Selena or her husband/mate Zenith. I think that you should have told more back story and given the reader more information and emotional connection to the plight the two Dragon Parents are going through. Tell us why they have been unable to have any dragonetts (Baby dragons), tell us why Selena would be willing to take a human boy as a son. A story is built on conflict; whether it is physical conflict like wars and battle, or emotional conflict like just having seen your parents die in a horrible car accident.
As was said by A-Ghra-Mo-Chroi you do need to work on your sentence structure and syntax a bit more to help the flow of the story.
I do like the formality that you gave the dragons and you could possibly add that as a source of conflict for Bryan in that he might not be used to such formality.
The reasons above are why I gave you a 2.5 in technique
Finally for originality; while friendly dragons are not the most original story piece anymore the fact that one would take in a human orphan is more unique than many other stories that I've seen over the years. I give a 4 in originality, for a grand total of 3.6 stars average